Category: Song of Songs

The final chapter of Song of Solomon continues to speak to the gift of sex through the lens of when it happens, and who it happens with. Although this is on the surface shocking and even indecent language, this chapter shows us the design for sex. It begins with a woman wanting to show affection for her lover. However, this wasn’t just some passionate one night stand. The gift of sex is that it took place in the midst of commitment.

Verse 6 says, “Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.” These are words of finality, not of a flimsy decision based on emotions. God’s design for sex is that it would be enjoyed with someone who has committed an enduring love to you. He never desired for sex to be shared with others. This sex took place in the midst of a love that was as strong as death.

The second part of this chapter describes the role that others have to play in assuring we make the correct decisions in regards to sex. It’s easy for emotions to lead us astray in this area which is why accountability is essential. Here, we read about brothers who take on the role of protecting their sister. They say, if she is a wall we will build towers of silver and if she is a door we will enclose her with panels of silver (v. 9). This describes their response to her openness to sex outside of marriage. If she is a “door” they want to protect her, whereas if she is a “wall” they want to celebrate her. While this could be read as controlling, they eagerly desire for their sister to experience God’s best. It’s their kindness to her that they would care enough to love her in this way.

Similarly, we all need people who will step up and walk alongside of us in holding us accountable to sexual faithfulness. If we fail to be a wall against certain sins, we will be caught in the cords of those sins, and never know the goodness of becoming as one who found peace (Enduring Word).

As we continue reading through Song of Songs, this chapter builds on what we have read so far and highlights the maturing of their marital relationship since the wedding we read about in Song of Songs 4. This chapter is an intimate glimpse into the relationship between Solomon and his wife. We see them describing their affection and attraction for one another, as well as their sexual desire for one another. Reading this, you likely had the thought that this is vastly different from most other chapters in scripture (and you would be right). At its most basic level, this is a chapter about the beauty of sex within the context of a covenantal marriage relationship.

Here’s why this chapter is so important: without it (and this entire book, for that matter), we would have a less complete picture of biblical marriage and sexuality. If this entire book had been excluded from scripture, we would have bits and pieces of a sexual ethic from the Old and New Testaments, but we would have far less of a comprehensive picture for God’s design for marriage and sexuality. Here we are presented with two prevailing ideas that are common in Christian orthodoxy: Sex is a good thing and it is meant for a marriage between a husband and wife.

As we read this chapter and wrestle with how it should impact our daily lives, the application may be different depending on your marital status. If you are reading this and you’re married, let is serve as a reminder to you that sex is a gift from God and desire for your spouse should be celebrated. Too often we can enter into a marriage with shame or baggage from our past, but the good news of the Gospel is that your past can be redeemed. 

If you are reading this as a single person, the application for you is that God really did design sex for marriage. Anything outside of the covenant of marriage, even if it feels desirable or right in the moment, will ultimately rob you of God’s best for you. Your purity and pursuit of the things of Jesus is important! And remember: If you have fallen short of the standard God set for us, the good news of the Gospel is that your past can be redeemed. 

The MacArthur Bible Handbook separates Song of Songs into 3 segments: The courtship (leaving), the wedding (cleaving), and the marriage (weaving). Chapter 6 falls into the “marriage” segment, specifically celebrating restoration within the marriage after its first major disagreement in chapter 5. In chapter 6, we see how Christian community helps restore a marriage.

The new bride (the Shulamite) is looking for her husband in an attempt to reconcile and express her love for him. What makes this example of restoration even more beautiful is the support and encouragement of the “others” or “friends.” The passage opens with them asking the woman where her husband is, concerned about the division within marriage. They then offer to seek him with her. They are showing concern, encouraging her, and offering to help with the process by giving their time and effort.

Marriage is God-sustained! These Others are following God’s admonishment in Galatians 6:2 that brothers and sisters should “carry each other’s burdens.” We see examples of this play out in other parts of the Bible, such as in Exodus 17:12-13 when Moses’s friends held up his arms for him in battle when he was exhausted. God ordained things are always worth our effort, and the Others are encouraging this!

Once the married couple has been reunited, the Others exclaim, “return, that we may look upon you.” They are sharing the joy of something that is holy and good! This feeling is likely akin to watching the bride and groom being united on their wedding day. Psalms 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” When we fix our joy in the Lord, our hearts will be more attuned with His, and we will find joy in the things that are holy and good like He does.

When we encourage the things of God, we help God’s will to be fulfilled on this earth, ultimately for our good and happiness! Therefore, we ought to surround ourselves with fellow believers and be the community for others. When we do this, we allow God to work through others to point us back towards Him and the things He has ordained!

This passage has several distinct movements, beginning with v. 1: (Friends of the bride and groom speaking) “Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love.” Love is more than a private affair. What one does with one’s sexuality is always more than a personal matter. It has widespread social implications. This is why traditionally, in our culture, a wedding is performed with witnesses who represent broader society. The woman now belongs to the man, and the man to the woman. Marriage changes all their personal relationships. The public aspect of marriage explains the presence of “daughters of Jerusalem” (mentioned five times) and “friends” (mentioned ten times). For Christians, selfless love expressed in marriage is a public witness and testimony to the relationship between Christ and the church. In Ephesians 5:31-32 we read, “’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”

Next, we see what is likely a dream sequence. It would be highly unusual for a Middle Eastern woman to be roaming about the streets in the dark of night, encountering watchmen (v. 7).  The excitement of the preceding section is now replaced with apprehension. The maiden dreams that her lover comes to her, but it is inconvenient for her to respond. She is bathed, undressed and is now in bed ready to sleep. She is slow to acknowledge his advances, and the opportunity is gone. Her lover therefore departs, and she is now sick with longing for him.

Love brings us joy, but we are flawed creatures. There are adjustments to be made in marriage. Our natural laziness, differences between men and women, the variations in the rhythms of life, and our unwillingness to alter our own preferred patterns and habits all contribute to the problem of intimacy. A wise marriage counselor once wrote that the three most common areas of friction in marriage are sex, money, and in-laws. Couples planning to get married would be wise to seek mature Christian counsel prior to saying, “I do.”

In v. 16, the wife addresses her “beloved” as “my friend.” The Song of Solomon is unabashedly a romantic book, but love is never fully satisfied to be content with the physical alone. Marriage finds its deepest meaning and fulfillment only if there is trust and commitment. Our male hero is her lover, but he is more than this: he is also her friend.  

Chapter 4 begins with the completion of a wedding ceremony, and we are given a glimpse into some intimate moments between this newly wedded couple. The bridegroom begins by describing the beauty of his bride. He praises various physical attributes of his wife: her eyes, her hair, her teeth, her lips, her temples and cheeks, her neck, and her breasts. It’s worth noting that he chooses seven of his wife’s attributes to describe. In Hebrew culture, the number 7 is associated with completeness or divine perfection. So, we can attribute the author of Song of Songs as being the originator of the phrase “you complete me!”

After describing his bride’s perfection, the bridegroom makes an invitation to his bride in verse 8. “Come with me from Lebanon, my bride; come with me from Lebanon. Depart from the peak of Amana, from the peak of Senir and Hermon, from the dens of lions, from the mountains of leopards.” Before they consummate their marriage, he is boldly asking the maiden to come and share her life with him. He is not only asking her to leave behind her family, but he is also asking her to leave behind her fears and simply come with him as they begin their life together.  This is God’s intended design for marriage as described in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” God created marriage to reflect this unity. Married couples are able to “become one flesh” not just through physical intimacy, but through emotional and spiritual intimacy as well.

The remainder of this passage gives details of the consummation of love between the maiden and her groom. This is not a passage of scripture to feel awkward or embarrassed about.  This is the kindness of God to give us a picture of his perfect design for marriage and sex. We can celebrate the love these two have for one another and acknowledge that God has provided a sacred expression of love by allowing married partners to perfectly meet each other’s sexual needs. Tara-Leigh Cobble says, “Our Creator had good things in mind when he invented relationships, marriage, and sex…and like any inventor, He wants us to know how to use what He made so we don’t break it or harm ourselves or others.” May this passage of scripture remind us that the perfect unity between husband and wife as they become one flesh is a gift from our perfect Father.

In this passage, the woman longs for the lover and is searching for him. She was determined to be with him. She wakes up and realizes she was dreaming, but there was a truth to share. She tells the daughters of Jerusalem to seek love following God’s timing.

Her dream includes the emotional pain that comes with longing, but recognizes that her love cannot be fully comprehended until her marriage. She must wait. We, like brides that long for their marriage, should long for our Father to protect and lead our household. God is our fortune and prize. He is unmatched. Nothing else will fill us with joy and peace.

She greets her lover with terms of endearment, with high regard and respect. She vividly describes him as kingly, majestic, and is completely enthralled with him. She depicts her wedding, and that the one she is to be with comes through the wilderness. His entrance was “perfumed with myrrh and frankincense” which had a pleasing aroma. She is eager to join him on their wedding day. The church admires this kingly depiction as Jesus Christ under the person of Solomon, whose riches, protection, and comfort are unparalleled.

What stands in the way of seeking God’s love and following his timing? We often put our own needs first. “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice” (James 3:16). Also, we do not trust God. “Such is the destiny of all who forget God; so perishes the hope of the godless. What they trust in is fragile; what they rely on is a spider’s web” (Job 8:13-14).

How can we seek God’s love and follow His timing?

• First, we look to God. “Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always” (Psalm 105:4).
• We trust in God. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart” (Proverbs 3:5).
• We ask God for his will to be done. “Your kingdom come, your will be done” (Matthew 6:10).
• Finally, we live patiently. “Love is patient, love is kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4). 

God’s plan may not look the way we thought it would. His timing may not be convenient. However, let us seek God’s love and follow his timing today.

Let’s think about chapter 2 through two lenses: the first lens being a picture of an engaged couple and the second lens being a picture of Christ and His people (the Church).

First, let’s observe this chapter through the lens of an earthly relationship–this picture of an ideal relationship between a man and a woman. This couple, who is not yet married but engaged, picks up right where chapter 1 left off. They are praising each other profusely. The woman begins the chapter talking about herself. It’s interesting that her assessment of herself grows in confidence in light of his love for her. She begins to see herself the way he sees her. She also acknowledges and trusts that in his shadow, in his care, there is rest and refreshment and protection. She knows that he is a safe place for her.

He is extravagant in the way he loves her–his banner over her is love. He is advertising to all who will notice that he loves her. That he adores her. That she is his. His love for her is on display for all to see. They have a mutual desire for one another. There is mutual enjoyment, emotion, tenderness, and delight.

Yet, her wisdom prevails over desire. She will not give way to longing until the time is right. She will not settle for a premature desire or counterfeit version of love. They are willing to wait for the physical expression of the emotional connection they feel for one another. And, nothing will stand in his way or delay him when the time is right. She will flourish and blossom in his care. Her barren winter will be replaced with new blossoms of spring. But in the midst of this flowering relationship, there is always the threat of little foxes. These are the small, seemingly insignificant schemes of the enemy that destroy and sabotage relationships over time.

For those of us in committed relationships, we can learn from this couple and evaluate our relationships. How well are you doing at praising your partner? Does your spouse flourish under your care? Are you a safe place for your partner to land? Or are you allowing counterfeit versions of love to steal your mutual enjoyment, emotion, tenderness, and delight from each other?

Let’s shift our perspective just a little bit. What’s remarkable about the word of God is that it is applicable to all-married, single, rich, poor, male, and female. Let’s observe chapter 2 through the lens of the relationship of Christ and His bride, those of us belonging to Him.

All throughout Scripture, Christ’s love for us is undeniable. He lavishes his love on us. Because of His great love for us, the way we view ourselves changes. We grow in confidence. We see ourselves the way He sees us: holy, blameless, and righteous. We know and trust that in His care we find rest and refreshment and protection. He is our rock and our refuge. He is the safest place to land. His banner over us is love. While we were yet sinners, He displayed his love for us by dying in our place. And, because He conquered death with His resurrection, we know that the dead, barren parts in our lives (our winter seasons) will, at some point, bloom with new life again. And, while we have an enemy who wants to destroy any fruit in our life, one day, when the time is right, nothing and no one will be able to prevent or delay our King Jesus from coming to take us home. 

What’s your favorite song of all time? What makes you like a song? Is it the lyrics, the vocals, or the skill of the musicians? Maybe it’s simply the beat and rhythm? What makes a song great and why do some of the same songs appear on many of our Spotify and Apple Music playlists?

In Song of Songs 1:1, the writer gives this book a superscription. The writer say this is “Solomon’s Song of Songs.” When something falls into the pattern of “blank of blanks,” it means it is the greatest of all “blanks.” When Jesus is referred to as the “King of Kings and Lord of Lords,” as in Revelation 19:6, it means Jesus is the greatest King out of all the kings and the greatest Lord out of all the lords. For this to be Solomon’s song of songs means that it’s the greatest of all his songs. It’s got the most listens and plays in everyone’s playlist. In fact, according to 1 Kings 4:32, Solomon wrote 1,005 songs. Out of all 1,005 songs, this book is the greatest! There’s a lot we can learn from this greatest song.

In Chapter 1, we see the man and woman go back and forth praising, encouraging, and affirming each other. She praises his name in 1:3. This means he has great character and a stellar reputation. In 1:5-7, the woman appears to be insecure about her darker skin that has come from working outside. In her mind, this puts her in a lower social status since she had an outdoor job instead of an indoor job. But the man praises her in 1:9-11. He’s attracted to her appearance and character and is not put off by her sun-tanned skin.

Most married couples do not take the time to praise and affirm one another’s character and appearance. Instead of building each other up, they tend to tear each other down. How different would Christian marriages be if instead of tearing one another down, we built each other up with our words? What if we affirmed each other’s appearance and character instead of critiquing and criticizing?

There’s a reason why this is called the greatest of all of Solomon’s songs. As we closely watch the words and character of this man and woman, we gain an understanding of why this is in fact the greatest of all songs.