Read Job 10
10 “I loathe my very life;
therefore I will give free rein to my complaint
and speak out in the bitterness of my soul.
2 I say to God: Do not declare me guilty,
but tell me what charges you have against me.
3 Does it please you to oppress me,
to spurn the work of your hands,
while you smile on the plans of the wicked?
4 Do you have eyes of flesh?
Do you see as a mortal sees?
5 Are your days like those of a mortal
or your years like those of a strong man,
6 that you must search out my faults
and probe after my sin—
7 though you know that I am not guilty
and that no one can rescue me from your hand?
8 “Your hands shaped me and made me.
Will you now turn and destroy me?
9 Remember that you molded me like clay.
Will you now turn me to dust again?
10 Did you not pour me out like milk
and curdle me like cheese,
11 clothe me with skin and flesh
and knit me together with bones and sinews?
12 You gave me life and showed me kindness,
and in your providence watched over my spirit.
13 “But this is what you concealed in your heart,
and I know that this was in your mind:
14 If I sinned, you would be watching me
and would not let my offense go unpunished.
15 If I am guilty—woe to me!
Even if I am innocent, I cannot lift my head,
for I am full of shame
and drowned in my affliction.
16 If I hold my head high, you stalk me like a lion
and again display your awesome power against me.
17 You bring new witnesses against me
and increase your anger toward me;
your forces come against me wave upon wave.
18 “Why then did you bring me out of the womb?
I wish I had died before any eye saw me.
19 If only I had never come into being,
or had been carried straight from the womb to the grave!
20 Are not my few days almost over?
Turn away from me so I can have a moment’s joy
21 before I go to the place of no return,
to the land of gloom and utter darkness,
22 to the land of deepest night,
of utter darkness and disorder,
where even the light is like darkness.”
Chapter 10 is a continuation of the previous chapter, dealing with similar themes of the dichotomy of Job’s own sin and innocence. However, there is a shift in the purpose to his message. He says this all with the intent of it being directed towards God, and it is a brutally honest lament of how he is feeling. This passage is full of questions, and we know there is a lot of bitterness Job feels towards God. What is easy to forget as we read this is that Job doesn’t have any of the same knowledge we have.
He is stuck in this wrestling of knowing God, but not feeling like that remains true in his current circumstance. What is important to distinguish here is that how we feel about God is not the same as what is true about His character. Job feels like God is fighting against him, but that is not what is true. As the reader, we know that there is more to the story and that Job wouldn’t even be alive if it weren’t for God telling Satan not to harm him (Job 1:12). Though it felt to Job that God was nowhere to be seen in his struggles, and rightfully so, God was actually at the center of it all.
What is so beautiful to know in this is that not only was God still present in this moment, but He also didn’t punish Job for being honest that it didn’t feel like God was there. God isn’t fragile; He isn’t going to break or be angry with us when we come to Him about how we feel. He desires for us to bring all of our thoughts and feelings to Him. He can handle our doubt. Because with doubt, comes faith.
Drew Worsham, a speaker and pastor, says it this way, “As long as doubt exists, as long as the person is still uncertain, that is the only time that faith is needed.” But that doesn’t mean that we completely forget who God is. In his plea to God, Job still is thankful for what he knows about God. “You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit.”(verse 12) We will not know all of the answers. But it is important that in our wrestling, we still remember God.
- What do you know is true about God?
- What does it feel like is true about God today?
- How can you be honest with God today about how we feel while still honoring what is true about Him?
“God doesn’t have to explain the season you’re in or why He’s allowed it. Jesus has already explained God (John 1:18) so even when you don’t know everything, remember what you know about Him.” – Jackie Hill Perry
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